The influence of personality, temper and family environment

There is a psychologist who says: We can choose ourselves, but not our families. It is true that we can not choose our own origin, but the family has a large degree of influence on the formation of our character, which can not be said to be a frustrating thing.

A person's character is not formed in isolation, and the family has a great influence on a person's growth. The famous psychologist Maslow said in recalling his parents: "My father is a loving and strict person, in life we are very strict requirements, there is a small problem to point out, but there is meticulous care." He is dedicated and persistent in his work, which makes us understand the truth of hard work at an early age. Mother has a shy character, but does not lose the mother's care and female gentleness, when we encounter sad things will go to her to tell. It gave us an atmosphere of rapport from an early age."

When Maslow grew up, he became a widely influential psychologist. He put forward the concept of "achievement motivation" and "the hierarchy of needs in life", and made great contributions to helping people overcome psychological troubles. It can be said that his contribution is inseparable from his family living environment.

Generally speaking, family factors, such as family atmosphere, parents' relationship, parents' attitude toward life, mode of raising children, and parents' personality, to a large extent, will affect a person, affect his understanding of life, reaction to things, emotional experience, and so on, and then affect his personality.

If you think about it, how do we form our personalities? Character is nothing more than your attitude towards life, your pursuit of goals, your emotional response when you get along with others, etc., and these are mostly formed in the influence of the family. For example, a person's family environment lacks understanding, lack of trust, or even cold War, and he can not get attention in the family, which may make him sensitive, worried or even confrontational and conflict. In this way, even if the family has good economic conditions, it can not achieve satisfactory training effect. In this person's eyes, the world is not safe, people are not friendly, it is difficult for them to face life with a positive attitude, and others will take a contradictory or even distant attitude towards them, so they escape and do not cooperate, so their lives are changed.

From the perspective of growth, a person's behavior pattern often has a lot to do with his family.

If a person grows up to be negative, lacking autonomy, dependent, and submissive, then his family atmosphere may be dominant. His parents regard him as their own private property, without considering his feelings, any reaction of his parents will make the parents show strong opposition, and all he has to do is obey. In such a relationship, he loses his independence, and when he grows up, he can only obey passively and be afraid of the slightest risk.

If a person grows up anxious and hesitant, his family atmosphere is likely to be critical. Parents may be too involved in his life, no matter what he does to be critical, no matter what kind of things face to give him some opinions, whether these opinions are reasonable or not. This often leaves him in a state of confusion, not knowing how to satisfy them. Although he has grown up, he still seems to be in front of his parents in character, acting anxious, hovering around problems, not knowing how to face them, often lost in contradictions and confusion.

If a person grew up to be indulgent and unpersuasive, his family atmosphere was probably laissez-faire. Parents themselves may lack a serious pursuit of life, lack of planning for the future, lack of serious management of him, which makes him also form a freewheeling, laissez-faire character. After growing up, they are also in a state of unfettered, lacking goals for life, lacking self-discipline, even if there is an opportunity to seize.

If a person grows up cold, his family atmosphere is likely to be equally uncaring. Because the elders take an attitude of neglect to him, lack of necessary care, so that he has a strong sense of insecurity, no matter what kind of people and things, take an attitude of distrust. Even if there are negotiations and cooperation, they mostly end in failure, making his life in a dilemma and difficult to achieve his goals.

But if a person's family environment is consultative, harmonious, and full of affection, parents take good care of him, patiently teach him, and often praise and encourage him; Know his warmth, pay attention to his requirements, give him enough love; All decisions related to him, will respect his opinion, he let childhood know how to choose. In this way, even at a young age, he will act considerate and sensible, and when he grows up, he will act open-minded, understanding, respecting others, confident and enterprising, knowing how to cooperate with others, even in the face of difficulties, but also know how to overcome.

Most of our personality can be found in family life, but one thing is certain, as an adult, when we find our own shortcomings, on the one hand, we can look for the reasons by looking back to their own family and growing environment, on the other hand, we should jump out of these limitations, after all, as an adult, Everyone has the ability to change themselves, choose the future, face themselves, change themselves, in order to embark on the perfect road of life.